This Fanfict was from a Japanese Manga: The Record of the Fallen Vampire (バンパイア十字界)December 22, 2003 was published.
The Record of a Fallen Vampire
Prologue: 300 years ago
As the battle rages between the Vampire King and the Black Swan, as the two powerful being clash and thunder roars and destruction surrounds between the two, as their power wanes, their battle has finally reaches its end.
The Vampire King Akabara Strauss lit: Red Rose has finally fallen in Battle. And as the battle field became quiet as the King sat on the floor saving his last breath he said a few words to the black Swan saying: “I am sorry for all the things had happened for these past 1000 years I had no ill intention,but it was for the sake for his people and peace for the Vampire race and the human race”.
He also said to her:" you are free from this curse that continued for the past 1000 years, live on and have a happy life, and again I’m sorry."
As the girl approached the dying King and sat with him she gave him a smile and said to him “May you have the blessings of the moon my King” as he remembered the words that was said to him a thousand years ago, tears fallen from him from the happiness and sadness that he had experienced during his long reign, he smiled and closed his eyes and said I tried my best.
And on his last breath he died showing a smile on his face and finally broke free from his long 1000 years curse and also freeing the Black Swans curse.
300 years later
300 years since the last battle occurred as the pure-blood vampire erased from existence the dhamphirs (half-human and half-vampire) and the human have finally obtain peace. As the humans that had experienced the sufferings from war had finally passed on and new generations emerged.
As for the dhamphires they had grown in age but slowly aging, the race had increase in numbers, and new politics formed and new technology rapidly evolving.
The dhamphires have finally moved on to the plan that was set 300 years by their King Akabara Strauss. They moved to the new kingdom of the monarchy not in earth but the colonized moon itself that took 300 years to complete.
New leaders are formed for the Dhamphire empire and their leader Bridget Irving Frostheart the adopted daughter of Akabara Strauss since she was a child, as she’s the master of war strategies and politics a fitting role to rule the Empire.
But for Bridget she doesn’t want to rule the Kingdom as she thinks she’s not worthy of being a leader. As she yearns for her beloved father she misses him and cries every night talking to her sleep “My dear father please come back to me I miss you so much”.
As she walks down the hall of her beloved fathers castle as she entered an empty room there she stood there staring the painting of her King, then tears began to fall from her eyes again. But over by the door a figure of a girl appeared. And it was Lety another adopted daughter of Akabara Strauss although she still young compared to Bridget, but she was taught in the art of combat by the King, thus she became one of Bridget’s generals in an early age.
As Lety began to speak to her:
“How long are you going to be like this dear sister? Was losing him took your happiness away?”
She yelled at her:
“Snap out of it!” then slaps her “Would he be happy if he sees you like this?”
As Bridget eyes began to widen and starts to remember the time when she was with him and how he taught her on how to become a leader, and how to master politics and also how to become a master in war. But one thing she remembered of what he said to her
“Bridget once your old enough and understand the things I taught to you and when am gone I want you to take over my place and lead the people”
She smiled, and said to herself “how could I have forgotten the promise I made to him…how stupid of me.”
“Back to your senses?”Lety asked
“No need to lecture me my dear little sister” Bridget replied.
As they laughed, then turned around and looked at the painting one last time and both said:
“Father thank you for everything you have done to us to me and my little sister this is goodbye for now as we have a country to lead and protect. We will come back to see you again.”
Then the two left from the room and walked towards the meeting hall. Then suddenly they saw an image of their father relaying one last message to them and said:
“May you girls have the blessings from the moon on your long reign...."
Then the image disappeared like mist, with a smile they continue on.
The End.
Interesting storyline though there are a few grammatical errors here and there, but it doesn’t really take away from your writing. There just some little tweaks like in this sentence here “And on his last breath he died showing a smile on his face and finally broke free from his long 1000 years cure and also freeing the Black Swans curse.” It should be more like “and with his last breath he died showing a smile on his face as he had finally broken free from his long 1000 years curse and had also freed the Black Swan from hers.” just what I think I could be wrong and you could be going in a completely different direction.
ReplyDeleteThanks Josh, yeah I did noticed there are a few mistakes while I was reading my fanfict I will keep that in mind and do some fixing. thanks.
DeleteHey Lois! i think its brilliant . I dont have of an interest genreally in what your fanfic is about but yours is fantastic :)
ReplyDeletewell done bud :)
I found a few punctuation mistake, but there are some beautiful descriptions in your fanfic and you have got a lovely writing style.
ReplyDeleteI like it and I really enjoyed your fanfic.
yeah thanks will look into it more thoroughly.
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